i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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