A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
