I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
