I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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