this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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