Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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