So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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