You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Even my vagina gasped.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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