covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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