Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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