So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
