Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
where am i from again
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
