I wannas sexs uuuuu
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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