If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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