Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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