It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
