How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
