For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize