we're chasing vodka with high fives
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
