it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
this beer tastes like vomit already
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
