How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
