high people should be assigned attendants
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
