I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
