Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
