she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
