yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Someone came in the potted fern
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