Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
