man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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