come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
