it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
