Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
