every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
