Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
