I'm eating all of the evidence.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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