Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
