How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
