Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize