MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
