Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
