Taylor Swift is so right about you.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize