trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
