I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
