My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize