my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
