Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
