i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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