man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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