Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
