AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
