So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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