You made me cry and you don't even care
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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