He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
