she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
