If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize