when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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