I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize