i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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