So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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