Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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